Only Fools Rush In

Every toxic relationship I've experienced began with a familiar feeling. At first, it felt powerful, like I was chosen, special, and worthy of someone’s intense attention and love. It felt like I had options, that I was in control. But soon, the excitement turned to pressure. What began as a joyful connection quickly transformed into a race against an invisible clock.

Each date felt like it could either be the last or the start of forever. I later realized that this overwhelming urgency wasn’t love—it was manipulation.

Have you ever gone shopping and spotted a dress or a pair of shoes you admired but couldn’t afford or always found out of stock?

Then, one day, it’s available at a huge discount. Your mind goes, “I need to grab this now, or I’ll never see it again.” That’s the feeling I’m talking about. This sense of urgency has no place in relationships, yet somehow, I found myself swept into it time and again.

Years later, as I reflected on these experiences, I uncovered five things that narcissists commonly say or do to rush you into committing to a relationship. If I had known these red flags earlier, I might have spared myself the pain.

Here’s what I wish someone had told me:

1. “You’re the Love of My Life” – Way Too Soon

One of the biggest red flags in any rushed relationship is how quickly the other person professes intense feelings. It may sound flattering to hear, “I’ve never met anyone like you,” or “You’re the one I’ve been searching for all my life,” within a few days or weeks.

But think about it: if they genuinely believe you’re the love of their life, what’s the rush? Why can’t they enjoy the relationship at each stage? The truth is, love takes time to grow. Genuine connections don’t require an accelerated timeline.

2. “We Don’t Need to Wait; Let’s Just Do It”

Whether it’s moving in together, getting engaged, or labeling the relationship, a narcissist pushes you to make big commitments quickly. They create a sense of urgency with phrases like, “Why wait when we know how we feel?” or “If we’re so right for each other, let’s make it official now.”

This rush is strategic. By speeding through the early stages, they prevent you from seeing who they really are. The whirlwind romance isn’t about love—it’s about control.

3. “Everyone Sees How Perfect We Are Together”

Narcissists often rely on external validation to reinforce their push for commitment. They’ll point out how much friends, family, or even strangers support the relationship, creating pressure for you to move forward. The truth is, this “support” clouds your judgment.

It shifts your focus from whether you want this relationship to what others expect of you.

If everyone else thinks you’re perfect together, then why hesitate, right? Wrong. It’s your relationship, not theirs. Decisions should be based on what feels right for you, not on the expectations of others.

4. “If You Don’t Want This, Maybe I Should Move On”

This tactic is one of the most confusing. They’ll make it seem like you need to act fast, or you’ll lose them forever. It’s an emotional ultimatum designed to push you into commitment out of fear.

But here’s the thing: if someone truly loves you and values the relationship, they won’t pressure you with ultimatums.

Genuine love is patient. It allows you the space to choose freely. If you’re being rushed into deciding between committing and losing them, that’s manipulation—not love.

5. “We’re Meant to Be, So Why Wait?”

This classic line is all about creating the illusion of destiny. A narcissist will weave romantic tales about fate and soulmates to justify why you should commit immediately. It’s a strategy that preys on your desire for a fairytale ending.

But let’s be honest—real relationships are built on shared experiences and growth, not just dramatic declarations. If they truly believed you were meant to be, there wouldn’t be any rush. They’d be willing to build the foundation step by step.

The Truth About Rushing Relationships

Rushing into a relationship is often a sign of manipulation. If they’re so sure about you, why can’t they match their words with patience and consistent actions? Relationships are about choice and mutual participation, not obligations or titles. A healthy partnership shouldn’t feel like an urgent obligation but a shared journey that unfolds over time.

Looking back, I wish I’d known that no relationship worth having requires rushing. The best relationships develop without pressure, allowing each partner to feel secure, respected, and free to grow.

When I finally embraced this mindset, I discovered what it felt like to share, explore, and truly enjoy a relationship without duties or demands. The result? A connection where participating feels like a choice, not a chore.

If you’re finding yourself in a relationship that feels hurried, take a step back. Trust your instincts and ask yourself: if this person really loves me, why are they in such a hurry? In the end, only fools rush in—and it’s better to take your time and ensure the relationship is built on a foundation of mutual respect and true partnership.

letstalk@tiffanyandtyrone.com