Fantastic Sex or Fantasy Sex: What do you really want?
In a world where desires often blur the lines between reality and fantasy, how do you know what truly fulfills you? We think it is time for you to take back control of what good sex means for you.
INTIMACY & SEXRELATIONSHIPS
Tiffany and Tyrone
10/5/20243 min read
Influenced?
In today’s fast-paced world, where everything from relationships to sexual experiences can be influenced by social media, movies, and even peer expectations, understanding what truly fulfills us can be challenging. The lines between fantastic sex—real, intimate, and deeply satisfying—and fantasy sex—often idealized, unrealistic, or unattainable—can easily blur. So, how do you navigate this complex landscape to discover what genuinely satisfies your desires?
As life coaches, we often find ourselves deeply engaged in our clients' lives. Our role is to listen and understand what influences their decisions. After all, the life you live today is shaped by all the choices you’ve made— and those made for you.
Many clients who want to find love struggle with decisions about sex. Why is that? Sex is a powerful source of both pleasure and trauma. It often becomes a hurdle in their manifesting journey to attract the love they want, especially if they have experienced past relationship failures. For example, some clients have been labeled as prudes or pressured to watch porn to learn how to perform better.
The Problem with Outsourcing Happiness
In our so-called developed world, we often outsource tasks to make life easier. But when it comes to what makes us happy, we may have gone too far. Only you know what truly makes you comfortable and happy in a sexual relationship.
However, many of us rely on random people on screens to tell us how to please our partners. Why not ask your partner directly what they enjoy? This might seem complicated or time-consuming, but avoiding open and honest conversations can actually lead to misunderstandings.
We might worry that discussing preferences could risk our relationship, but what type of relationship are you in if you cannot talk about sex with the person you want to have sex with?
It's ironic that we often prefer to interact with a screen and try to impose a sexual fantasy on our partner, rather than have a straightforward discussion about what we both enjoy.
Understanding Your Desires
The first step in taking control of your sexual experiences is to reflect on your desires. What do you envision when you think of "fantastic" sex? Is it the thrill of a passionate connection, the comfort of intimacy, or the excitement of new experiences? Consider the feelings and sensations that make sex fulfilling for you.
On the flip side, what about fantasy sex? This might involve scenarios that thrill you but feel out of reach in your everyday life. Perhaps it’s the allure of a secret romance, a passionate encounter in an exotic location, or engaging in adventurous role play. Fantasies can provide an escape and inspire creativity, but they can also lead to unrealistic expectations when it comes to real-life encounters.
The Importance of Communication
Once you’ve identified your desires, the next crucial step is communication. Whether you’re in a long-term relationship or exploring new connections, being open about what you want is essential. Discussing fantasies and preferences with your partner can enhance intimacy and trust, helping both of you align on what makes sex fantastic for both of you.
It’s also important to understand that your desires might change over time. Regularly revisiting these conversations can keep your sexual experiences fresh and exciting. Remember, fantastic sex isn’t just about the physical act; it’s about emotional connection, mutual pleasure, and feeling safe and respected.
Bridging Fantasy and Reality
Finding a balance between your fantasies and reality can lead to richer experiences. If certain fantasies excite you, consider how you can incorporate elements of them into your real-life encounters. For instance, if you fantasize about spontaneity, try to break out of your routine and plan an unexpected romantic evening.
Additionally, exploring fantasies together with a partner can create a deeper bond. This shared experience can transform fantasy into a reality that fulfills both partners. Remember, it’s about mutual consent and ensuring both of you feel comfortable and excited about the exploration.
Taking Control of Your Sexual Journey
Ultimately, taking control of what fantastic sex means for you requires self-awareness and confidence. Trust yourself to explore your desires and communicate them with your partner. Don’t shy away from your fantasies; embrace them as part of your sexual identity.
Whether it’s through exploration, open conversations, or setting boundaries, remember that fantastic sex is what you define it to be. It’s an evolving journey, and by prioritizing what truly fulfills you, you can create an intimate life that is both thrilling and deeply satisfying.
Conclusion
In a society where we’re constantly bombarded with ideals of pleasure and intimacy, taking a step back to reflect on what you truly want is vital. Fantastic sex and fantasy sex are not mutually exclusive; they can coexist and enrich your life. By understanding your desires, communicating openly, and being willing to explore, you can take back control and define what good sex means for you. So, what do you really want? The answer lies within you.
